Grieving Woman

imageI was blind-sided today in a way I never expected.  (Although I guess if it was expected it would not be called a blind-side).  I found myself sobbing uncontrollably because a memory that was dormant for a long time came to the surface.

My dearly beloved passed away from lung cancer 8 years ago.  The grieving process successfully brought me healing.  When I think of him now I recall him with fondness and love, not with pain.  It is rare that some sight, sound, or piece of news evokes sadness.  Very often a smile comes to my face when I recall him and the time we shared.

Today, however, as I was surfing through blogs I came across a touching story Letting Go about a young woman’s last exchange with her mother as the daughter was dying of muscular dystrophy.  It was beautifully written.  Those kinds of things always bring a tear to my eye.  But this particular piece evoked deep emotion because at the end of life the mother had said to her imagedaughter exactly what I had said to my husband.  She gave her daughter permission to let go.   The daughter died later the same night.  The last thing I had said to my husband on the night that he died after telling him I loved was that my daughter and I would be ok. And it was ok for him to let go.  Shortly after I said those words he passed away.

I had not thought of that very private moment for a long time so when I read the story on the blog today I was flooded with emotion.  I was thankful to be home alone so no one witnessed my breakdown.  But I am fine.  It was a memory that needed to be revisited.  I find it therapeutic to rewind and replay these important moments so the loved ones’ memory continues to remain alive and so we continue to heal.  This story in the original blog was in a category labeled Fiction/Shorts.  I sense that it was a very real memorial.  Even if it was a work of fiction, it was very real to me.

A memory of grief, just another thread of my life.

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20 thoughts on “Grieving Woman

  1. authorsbmazing January 21, 2015 / 3:29 am

    I send you lots of warm hugs. How wonderful of you to have let him go. To have given him the freedom of letting go and knowing that you would be okay. I find it is such an important thing to do… and probably the hardest one…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. amiewrites74 January 21, 2015 / 4:30 am

    Now I’m in tears. This is a beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it.

    Sorry for the category confusion on my original piece. It is in fact a true memorial for a dear friend who passed last week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Helen Elizabeth January 21, 2015 / 5:06 am

      No need to apologize. I thought it was a true memorial especially since you mentioned “dedicated to Victoria”. I only noticed the category at the very end. I am so glad that I came across your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. TJ January 21, 2015 / 6:22 am

    thank you for sharing. this was a very moving post. there is often a feeling of catharsis when writing about emotional events. keep up the good work! ~The TJ Blog

    Liked by 1 person

    • Helen Elizabeth January 22, 2015 / 11:49 pm

      Thanks TJ. It is very cathartic and I have learned that no matter how well you think you are doing sometimes things just come up and knock you upside the head. Thank you for your comment.

      Like

    • Helen Elizabeth January 22, 2015 / 11:48 pm

      Thank you. In reading over the few posts I have done since starting this blog I seem to be dwelling on loss in my life. That surprises me because that isn’t what fills most of my days. But I do appreciate your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      • susurrus January 29, 2015 / 9:56 am

        It’s because you’re writing from the heart and have a space where you can explore thoughts that are important to you and share them with others. I’ve been surprised by the nature of blogging so far too – how intimate it feels at times, both when you’re writing and reading. I didn’t expect that.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Good Woman January 30, 2015 / 4:49 am

          I definitely know that I did not expecting that I would share such emotional moments in my blog and that it would have the effect it does. It is very personal to me and other people are so touched as well. Thank you for your comment.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. badfish2 January 23, 2015 / 8:18 am

    Luckily, humans are able to hide things from themselves…until we begin to write…??

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman January 25, 2015 / 3:08 pm

      Intriguing statement. I actually have journaled off and on for quite some time, mostly when I am dealing with difficult things in my life. But this is a new forum (and form) for me so I guess it is those very significant experiences in my life that need addressing. Thanks.

      Like

    • Good Woman January 25, 2015 / 3:06 pm

      Thank you so much for your post and for sending me over to The Patient Gardener. She has a beautiful blog and I very much appreciated looking at it. I also looked at your blog and find it to be very interesting. I am very certain that gardening in your area is a completely different experience than growing things in the dry desert climate of northern New Mexico, USA, but I do enjoy reading about gardening. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Helen Johnstone January 25, 2015 / 7:18 pm

    Hi Helen
    Thank you for your comment on my blog. I find writing about emotions helps me and when I have blogged about grief before I have discovered how it touches others who in turn help me – we support each other.
    I was touched by your post as it made me think of my sister and when I said goodbye to her, I knew somehow she wouldnt come out of the coma she had been put in and I told her I be there for her young daughter. I suppose in a way it was, as you describe, giving her permission. When my parents phoned to say they had decided to turn the machines off I could tell them I had already said my goodbyes. Its strange how you just know these things deep down inside even if you dont recognise it at the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. rainydayreflections January 30, 2015 / 4:03 am

    I too have been in the spot of telling loved ones that it is ok to go. It is a hard thing to do even though you know it is right. Your post touched my heart. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman January 30, 2015 / 4:51 am

      It was very hard, but it also seemed so right, like you said. I had not thought about this for a very long time until I read someone else’s story.

      Liked by 1 person

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