Many of us go through life experiencing a great deal of angst and emotional upheaval. If we are lucky, eventually we figure some things out. We realize if only we had known these things sooner we could have spared ourselves a lot of stress. I am still learning everyday and there could be many other things on this list but I have to limit it to ten items.
This week’s Tuesdays List of Ten is 10 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner (in no particular order):
- I can choose happiness.
- Things have a way of working out one way or another.
- Worrying about something does not help one bit to resolve an issue and will not change an outcome.
- I can’t change another person. I can only change how I choose to react to them.
- People (and things) who cause me nothing but stress and trauma do not need to be kept in my life.
- Bad things will happen but the perspective I choose to take will influence the eventual outcome.
- Sometimes a good cry is all that is needed to help a situation seem better.
- Learning to laugh at myself stops me from taking myself too seriously.
- Laughing with other people, a deep, hard, can’t-catch-your-breath kind of laughter, is the best, feel good thing.
- Having faith and praying helps me deal with every obstacle I might face.
What lessons have you learned in your life that would have helped things to go more smoothly if you had only known them sooner?
Join me if you would like by posting your own “10 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner” on your blog, or simply add a comment to my post.
Housekeeping item: I am changing the name of my weekly list. It will no longer be named a Top Ten Tuesday list. I will still publish it on Tuesday It will still be a list of ten items. However, the name “Top Ten” implies that the items on the list are in some kind of ranked order which they are not. They are in random order and are frequently just a brain-stormed list. Many times people who comment made additions to the list that were better than those I came up with originally. “Top Ten” does not seem to be an accurate name. The list is now called a “Tuesday List of Ten” which is not as catchy of a name but it seems more honest.
Good Woman 
Your list of 10, is very similar to one I would have written. These are great lessons. #5 is still hard for me, especially with a family member dealing with mental illness and addiction. Really hard. I think one I would add is something about using my voice earlier. I was so shy. I didn’t think anything I said was useful or valuable. And I would have used my singing voice as well – learned how to be less shy about that too. Thank you for this wonderful list.
Mary
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I do understand #5 being difficult with the situation you describe. I think it is different when a family member is involved because there is so much emotionally invested. Hopefully there is enough history of a positive nature that makes it worthwhile to stay invested. I was thinking of those people who tend to be rather toxic where there is very little of a positive nature. And the additions you mention really make sense to me. I wasn’t particularly shy but there certainly were situations where I should have been more assertive in speaking up. I don’t have any singing ability but I can understand how if you had one you would want to use it. Again, thank you for your insight.
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Sometimes no matter how much love and emotional investment is there, one has to remove herself for self preservation. Meth is ….I want to say evil. I just can’t be around the constant drama and damage. Guilt sucks, but…well, until the drug is not an issue, I can’t be a part of her life anymore, except through prayer. Very sad. Thanks.
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You don’t have to say anymore. Once you mentioned meth I realized exactly what you are saying. I have seen it affect too many people and I know what it does. My words seemed too shallow once I understood what the demon was.
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Yeah, demon. That is the word I was looking for. Thanks for the word and for your understanding.
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I love the new title. 🙂 Well thought out.
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Thanks. I knew I needed to change it for the reasons mentioned but I just wasn’t sure I had hit on a good choice.
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I think my list would like very similar. I think I would add – to care less about what others think of you and to care more about what you say about others.
So glad I found your blog.
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Both of those are great additions and both of things could be on my list as well. One thing about being a “mature” woman, I find that what other people think of me is less important except for a few significant others. And the more comfortable I am with where I am the less need there is to be critical of others.
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I like the new name!
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Thanks for your comment. I really wasn’t sure if I had made a good decision although I knew I had to make a change.
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a) I think the title is catchier, everyone does top ten. The title caught my attention as I was flying down my reader. b) I have learned most of these too and they are fabulous things to know, Now we just have to remember them 😉
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The interesting thing is when I started my top ten I was pretty new to the blogging world and didn’t even realize it was overused. It was only later on I realized it wasn’t a good choice. I am sure there will be time I back slide and forget these things; all the more reason to get them out there just to be a reminder to me. You know how sometimes if you write something down it sticks with you more?
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oh yes. I have to write it down or it slides right out of my mind. Plus, then we can go back and look at it to remind ourselves 🙂
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I’m going to work on incorporating this list into my life. Thank you.
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That is a compliment…thank you!
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Wonderful list! I have learned these things too, and definitely wish I’d figured them out sooner!
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It would have saved us a lot of grief, but we made it to where we are so I guess things do have a way of working out,
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I like the idea of a Tuesday, List of Ten and your list is awesome.
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Thanks on both counts.
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This really speaks to me because of my own recent metamorphosis. Even though I wish I knew what I know now, I couldn’t take back what I didn’t know then. I think the past stresses, even though very unpleasant, made me who I am now. Yet, if I could still be the person I am now after I knew what I know now…I might take that (^_^).
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I understand what you are saying. Everything we experience is incorporated into who and what we are. I would love to have arrived at where I am but without having to go through all the negative experiences, even though I know each one of those is a learning opportunity.
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Agree on all points. While I *do* know these things, it’s the actual application/practice/putting them into action that is quite a struggle, esp choosing happiness and not worrying. 😛
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Agreed, especially not worrying is difficult for me. Concerning happiness I still allow myself to feel the sad times and the aggravating times, but I am better now at moving past them more quickly and hopefully not let them define me. I have learned something about that.
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What a great idea for a post. I enjoyed reading yours, but, unfortunately, it’s late in the day and all I can think of is I wish I’d learned sooner that life is better without pantyhose. I enjoyed browsing your blog this afternoon.
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Now that is a great addition to the list! Thank you much for reading my blog.
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Hi Helen,
One lesson I learnt many years ago is: Everything happens for a reason. We may not know what that reason is at the time, but sooner or later, you will turn around and look back and know exactly why things happened they way they did.
I love your list.
Clare
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