Introverts Unite!

image I am an introvert.  I always have been and always will be.

There was a time when I struggled with being an introvert.  I longed to be the person who was always confident and charming in social situations, who could easily speak off the cuff without having to be prepared ahead of time, to not feel awkward when I was in a new situation, to be able to escape to that place where I could rejuvenate and be reflective without being thought of as anti-social.

People who know me (but not real well) and who have seen me in my professional life where I sometimes have to make presentations to large numbers of people do not understand that I am an introvert.  They see me as someone who is extremely competent which does not meld with their ideas of an introvert.  But they do not see the inner tug of war and the intense preparation I do to make myself come off as competent.  They see that in social situations with large groups of my colleagues I am quiet and withdrawn, but still they do not recognize that as being an aspect of being introverted.

Maturity and life’s experiences have helped me to accept and embrace who I am, and I accept that there will be situations that are difficult for me.

In recent years there has been much written about the positive side of introversion.   To me theimage attention given to the introverted personality is very exciting.  There are two desirable outcomes because of this attention:   1) People who had low self-esteem because of being introverted will receive affirmation for the personalities that they are blessed with, and not wish that they were someone else. 2) Others will come to understand and embrace introverts for who and what they are and realize that introverts add a great deal to the rich tapestry of life.

The publicity has helped introverts to understand themselves better so #1 is accomplished.  I do not believe, however, that others are more accepting of the introverted personality.

In a post Sisterhood of the World, blogger Word Nerd was asked a number of questions in accepting an award for which she was nominated.  Her answer to one question reveals the plea that many introverts would raise in wanting to be accepted for the people they are:

Q.  What one thing do you wish the whole world would understand or accept?

A.  I’m an introvert. I like peace and quiet. If you decide I’m not quite your sort, well, too bad. I simply can’t stand such boisterous places where people drink themselves into unconsciousness. Is that too hard to understand?

imageThink about that.  The one thing at that moment in time that she was asking the world to understand was to accept her as an introvert.  The. One. Thing.   Many other introverts are likely to add their voices to a chorus proclaiming the same idea.   This isn’t to assume that introverts never enjoy boisterous places or never drink too much. Many introverts do enjoy going to sporting events or crowded concerts or  other populous venues.  It’s just after it’s over they are likely to need quiet time to recharge themselves.  And many introverts do drink too much, perhaps partly to lose their inhibitions to become the life of the party that seems to be so much valued.  We are all complex individuals.  Very few are completely and truly an introvert in every aspect, nor are few completely extroverted.  But absorb what she is asking.

I have noticed  that many bloggers identify themselves as introverts.  Rarely do I see people identifying themselves as extroverts.    Why do  introverts have a need to identify themselves as such?  Is it being  an extrovert is still perceived to be the ideal, and introverts need to ask to be understood and to be recognized for who they are?  It takes a long time for social perceptions to change and in spite of all the research and literature, introverts still need to ask to be accepted.

Blogging is the perfect avenue of expression for introverts.  They tend to have a lot to say, because for the most part they are introspective and deep thinkers.  A blog allows them to express themselves without having eyes physically upon them, and if they are criticized they can reflect on the criticism without being embarrassed and humiliated by being in front of others.  One common trait of introverts is that they hate to be criticized so they strive very hard to do things perfectly and may choose not to share until they think they have every little timagehing right.

I would make a guess here that most people who have continued to read this far are either introverts or have a close relationship with an introvert.  Extroverts, if they even began to read this topic,  are likely to have lost interest by now, not because they don’t care, but because this is not relevant to them.   I would love to be proven wrong.  I would love to learn that extroverts are as eager to understand introverts as introverts are eager to be understood.  Comments would be welcome to either reinforce my little hypothesis, or hopefully to let me know that I am dead wrong–that extroverts are still engaged in this discussion.  I could accept being wrong (even though I hate criticism) and would actually embrace being corrected.  Because that would tell me that life might become easier for introverts.

Celebrating the differences in individuals as an introvert, just another thread of my life.

It is not my purpose to itemize the characteristics of introverts vs. extroverts.  That is adequately covered elsewhere.  A book by Susan Cain, Quiet  subtitled The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking is a good resource.  There are also many blogs and internet sites that cover the topic.

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42 thoughts on “Introverts Unite!

  1. Yinglan January 26, 2015 / 7:30 pm

    I have to say, I feel the same. I guess most introverts just prefer blogging. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sophie January 26, 2015 / 8:30 pm

    This is definitely something that I can relate to. I like that my blog is a place of relative anonymity even though it isn’t in the grand scheme of things. I like that I can spend ages crafting something that I am proud of and then can give it away without people, at the moment for the very least, won’t make me talk about it because I am almost scared to do that. But then I also agree that just because I like silence and to be alone, in the right circumstances I love social situations and in some occasions can thrive in them, but I have to be prepared for them. I largely like plans and to be or organised because otherwise I get too anxious and can’t enjoy things. Coming from a family that largely don’t have a problem with putting themselves out there, it’s hard for them to understand that I almost physically can’t do those things in the same way, so all the extra and new focus on it is proving really helpful for me in terms of understanding. This was basically a really long way of saying I really related to this post and it’s also given me something to think abut a bit more!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 8:31 am

      Well said. So many of us experience that awkwardness especially when we are surrounded by extroverts.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Nina January 26, 2015 / 10:53 pm

    So glad I found your post about being an introvert in relation to the Blogging 101 task to link up social networks. Refreshing honesty! I’m an introvert too, always have been and always will be. My husband’s always telling me I ought to socialise more, but I’m happy and comfortable the way I am 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 8:33 am

      I remember my daughter as a teenager telling me that I had to get a life because she thought it was so sad I spent so much time at home. I told her I was happy just being home after spending so much time with people at work. Now that she is in her 20’s and has embraced her own introvert tendencies, she understands what I was about. Thanks for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. guevaragem January 26, 2015 / 11:03 pm

    Lovely post! My favorite quote? “Introverts add a great deal to the tapestry of life.” Very well put. I’ve seen some people take to social media to complain that they can’t stand their introverted friend or co-worker. It’s easy to judge but very few strive to understand the inner worlds of introverts. Indeed we contribute a great deal to this world. Most, if not all, literary geniuses had a streak of introversion in them, and our world is all the richer because of them. Once again, nice post.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 8:08 am

      Thank you for your contribution. There would be so much to say on this topic. It really was difficult to edit it down to a post that would not be too long. It is really true about so many creative people being introverted. I appreciate your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      • guevaragem January 27, 2015 / 8:10 am

        There are books written on this subject, because it’s so broad and complex–even more so than extroversion.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 8:16 am

          Absolutely!! I think it is wonderful when so many people can relate to this. It is so very personal for so many of us.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. saralynne7 January 27, 2015 / 8:19 am

    I thought I was an introvert my entire life, but I actually have many extrovert tendencies. I had alot of social anxiety which is not the same as introversion. My boyfriend, although a great conversationalist, is an introvert. And yes, I had a difficult time reading to the end! Great post, even though it was kinda long! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 8:26 am

      You are absolutely correct about the length. I tried to edit it down but I got hung up with points I wanted to make. I am glad you made it to the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Jeanne January 27, 2015 / 9:06 am

    I am definitely an introvert too and I agree, it’s very easy to blog when you are an introvert. But I would like to hear from the extroverts too! Nice post, you are a good woman indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 9:10 am

      Thank you for your comments. I seriously think that extroverts did not get through the whole post but I too would love to hear from them.

      Like

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 9:12 am

      I tried to click into your blog suburbo-types and I see it is expired. Do you have another blog?

      Like

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 7:58 pm

      Thanks. It sure took me a long time in life to be able to do that, but at 60+ I am glad I finally have it figured out.

      Like

  7. amiewrites74 January 27, 2015 / 8:19 pm

    I, too, struggled with being an introvert for many years. All through school, I was pushed to “speak up more” and “interact more.” My teachers didn’t understand me and it made me uncomfortable. Some people just couldn’t understand why I was so quiet or why I didn’t like to be in large groups or why I was so exhausted mentally after a social event or why I just needed downtime to charge my proverbial batteries. My closest friends have always been introverts, probably because we understand each other. Interestingly, my husband has extrovert tendencies. I think we complement each other well, but we have had to learn a lot about what the other needs.

    I agree, blogging is a perfect forum for introverts. There are many of us here. I am so glad that we have this forum for a creative outlet.

    Like

    • Good Woman January 27, 2015 / 7:57 pm

      The strange thing for me was that I guess I was pretty secure in high school because I could rather easily participate in class. But when I went away to college, in a new setting, all of a sudden I was very uncomfortable with class participation. I guess we all have a little different history but I am glad I have learned to be comfortable where I am now. I really appreciate the blog as an outlet as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Faraday's Candle January 27, 2015 / 8:20 pm

    Some of the worlds greatest leaders and thinkers were introverts…to embracing who you are!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. jenniesisler January 28, 2015 / 11:58 am

    I completely identify with this post, and I’m reading the book Quiet as well. I’m less of an introvert than I used to be simply because moving to Massachusetts 15 years ago with my husband forced me out of my comfort zone, but I still love a quiet day alone with him best. Just because we don’t appear to be an introvert doesn’t mean we aren’t. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman January 29, 2015 / 12:48 am

      I am glad so many people could relate to this post. Isn’t “Quiet” a good book? It really helped me to get a good perspective on who I am. Many of us can function just fine when called upon to do so…it’s just we would prefer to not have to.

      Like

      • jenniesisler February 1, 2015 / 1:41 am

        Well I’ve come out of my shell a lot over the years – I think moving to a place where I knew nobody and had to get out and make my own way probably helped a lot. Still I prefer to be off to myself sometimes

        Liked by 1 person

  10. aboyd85 January 28, 2015 / 11:19 pm

    I seriously feel like you put down in this blog exactly how I feel! Except that I am just now starting to accept that I am introverted and that I have something really wonderful to contribute to the world. I can’t believe how “extroverted” I am with blogging. I can write about whatever I want, and I have conversations with other people! If this were in person, I would never be as open as I am here. I agree, it feels “safe” to be able to blog. Thanks for writing such a thoughtful post!

    Like

  11. Good Woman January 29, 2015 / 12:50 am

    I find the same thing with blogging. I have written several blogs on topics that I would not be likely to share with others. It really is a good outlet. Thank you for your comments. I am glad you appreciated this.

    Like

  12. louiseamy January 31, 2015 / 11:59 am

    Love this! Especially that point about doing presentations and speeches – it’s 21st season for me and I’ve had to do a number of speeches. Every time, I’ve had parents or friends come up to me and tell me how confident I seem when I’m up there and I don’t disagree with them, but I don’t tell them I’ve been prepared for WEEKS, because I was so scared of talking to so many people. All those eyes on me? Ugh!

    It’s weird that extroversion seems to be the socially accepted norm and that introversion is seen as anti-social! Hmm another thing to wonder about I guess!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good Woman January 31, 2015 / 4:38 pm

      It seems that a lot of people can relate to that post, and each person seems to pick up on a slightly different point.

      Like

  13. atiyarehman513 January 31, 2015 / 10:31 pm

    I love this post for so many reasons. I identify as an introvert but I am quite extroverted in a small setting where I feel comfortable being myself. I love making people laugh and I am very good at it. The problem is putting myself out there in situations where people can get to know me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman January 31, 2015 / 11:37 pm

      Well said. That is so true of me as well. I did not mention that bit I should gave. Many of us probably have very good senses of humor in the right setting.

      Like

  14. Good Woman April 12, 2015 / 10:00 pm

    Thank you for looking at my post and for commenting. I took a look at your blog and I agree that we have a lot in common. I like this part of your “About”: “I began this blog as a way to stay in touch with my daughter when she began university across the country. It has turned into a way to stay in touch with myself and perhaps be a help for others as they navigate this thing called life.”
    I have found benefits in blogging that I did not imagine going in.

    Like

  15. Troy Williams April 16, 2015 / 11:30 am

    I too am an introvert. As a matter of fact I’ve even been to a doctor who diagnosed me as having social anxiety disorder. It’s not that I don’t like people. I can be quite chatty when I want to be and am comfortable. I too had a job where I had to meet new people everyday. I’d put my extrovert mask on just before meeting them and would fall apart in silence afterwards. I blog about what it’s like to live with mental illness. It has been so freeing. I tell my story honestly and for the first time am getting feedback from others that my story helps them. This is very rewarding. Thanks for the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman April 16, 2015 / 9:05 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment. There are a lot of us introverts out there. I think it is great that blogging for you has been so freeing. I have visited your blog and have read some of your posts. You really are brutally and painfully honest. I expect it is very cathartic for you.

      Like

  16. Troy Williams April 16, 2015 / 11:31 am

    Reblogged this on My Bipolar Life and commented:
    The benefits of being an introvert. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman April 16, 2015 / 9:06 pm

      Thanks for the rebog. I appreciate any and all support of my thoughts and ideas.

      Like

  17. kim April 19, 2015 / 3:19 pm

    Another introvert blogger here 🙂 Although for a long time I struggled with putting my words ‘out there’. In my younger years I had the the feeling that there was something wrong with me for not wanting to go out and socialise as much as other people (if at all). I would try to pretend I was enjoying myself just to fit in and appear normal.

    I don’t think societal attitudes have changed much. These days though I am more accepting of my need for solitude most of the time. I relish it in fact. Other people might think my life boring but I love staying home and gardening, knitting, sewing, writing, reading or going for walks – no time to be bored. Thanks for sharing. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good Woman April 19, 2015 / 10:08 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment. It really intrigues me how many bloggers are introverts.

      I have a colleague who every Friday asks me what my plans are for the weekend. I always say “Nothing special” but to me it is so special to just be at home and read or stitch or walk the dogs or whatever I am motivated to do. We don’t all want excitement.

      Liked by 1 person

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